I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
