I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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