They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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