ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
