Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Mom said you looked used
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
