his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
