Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
