My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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