you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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