I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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