your parents love me but you hate me
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
