"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
