Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
