Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize