I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
