It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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