it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
