So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
