i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
