I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
