we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
