hell yes lets make some ravioli
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
