seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
