Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
