Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize