Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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