as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize