She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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