Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Green mimosas i think yes
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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