I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
