you guys were way drunker than both of me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
