we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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