If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
