I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
