he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
