my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
