What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
