THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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