Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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