You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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