Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
