While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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