it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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