he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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