I can tuck mytits in my pants
Is it penis luge time yet?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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