so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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