Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
