we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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