We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
