be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You took a bar mat shot.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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