I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
