he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
