thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You made out with two different species that night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
