you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
