You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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