her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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