every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
