sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
