if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
