Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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