New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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