I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
then he tried to convert me to islam
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
